AmSAW Registered Writings:

The Initiation

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The Initiation

by ldylngstkn

 1.

i was given one final order via my computer screen from my Mentor.  “Turn around, I don’t wish you to see what I am telling him,” he said of his friend who he sent to initiate me.  We had worked together for months, me asking questions, he answering honestly.  Between the calls, the online communication, and previous real time experience with minor S & M, he felt i was ready.  So, he sent a friend.  Someone he knew and trusted to initiate me in the manner he specified from 3000 miles away. 

He also neglected to tell me some of the finer points.  On purpose. 

i returned to the screen.  “You will do everything he orders.  If you have any questions you will ask me after he has gone.  Understood?”  he typed,    “Yes, Sir” i answered and turned away from the screen again to the Dominant who was standing behind me reading. 

Rubbing my neck, he began talking to me firmly, yet softly.  “What happens tonight, must happen with your consent, little one.  Don’t speak, just nod if you understand and consent.”  i nodded my head.  He continued.  “Tonight, you will be taken further than you have before.  Learn a few things your Mentor wished for you to learn.  i will hurt you, but i will not in any way damage you, or cause serious injury.  Do you understand?”  i nodded again.  Part of me trusting both my Mentor and this unknown Dominant to help me cross into their world.  Part of me terrified at not knowing what to expect. 

“Safe words are where we begin.  RED meaning stop, its too much to handle, and i shall.  YELLOW meaning i am reaching my limit.  Do you understand?”  i nodded again.  “Repeat the safe words to me so i know you understand.”  he demanded in a firm louder voice.  “RED means stop.  YELLOW means i am reaching my limit” i repeated to him, in a soft almost childlike voice.  “Good girl.”  He praised me.  “Now stand up and kneel before me.”  he ordered firmly. 

Was he kidding? 

i looked up at him curious, not understanding where he was taking this.  But, i was willing to play this game, and thinking he was asking me to “take a knee” just as my coach had in high school, i dropped to one knee.  He chuckled and rubbed the top of my head like a pet.  “No little one, I suspect this is one your Mentor either overlooked on purpose, or decided that it was for me to teach you.  The proper position of respect to a Dominant is on your knees.” 

i dropped the other knee watching him smile at me.

This is silly! i thought, wanting to laugh, but i restrained myself.  Who ever heard of a Jewish girl kneeling?  Not in Church, not in Temple, but to a Dominant!  He has got to be kidding!

“Good girl.  Now you drop your face to the floor and kiss my feet.”  i complied.  When i attempted to straighten up, he pushed me down firmly. “NO!  You remain in this position until i have released you.” 

Walking around me, i had the uncomfortable sensation he was checking me out carefully.  Which of course, he was.  Pushing my skirt up onto my back, he grabbed at my panties.  i heard what sounded like a knife opening.  Then my panties were cut off my body. 

Walking around to my face he reached down and grabbed a hand full of my hair and pulled my face up.  “Open your mouth” he ordered firmly. 

i opened my mouth and he stuffed my panties into my mouth.  “submissives do not wear panties, little one.  They must be open, exposed and ready at all times.” His tone was soft, but very firm.  He pushed my panty stuffed face back to the floor and returned to my rear quarters. 

This would be a good time to run, part of me was thinking.  But, oh the arousal!  i didn’t want to run, i wanted MORE!

His hand reached out and softly stroked my ass, then opened my cheeks to view my ass hole.  i felt very ashamed and humiliated.  That was a part of me that was still a virgin.  His hand rubbed down and i could feel his fingers entering my pussy.  “My, my you are wet, little one.” He teased me, and then returned to my face.  i heard his zipper being dropped.  i couldn’t move.

He grabbed my hair again and pulled me up quickly so my mouth was facing his hard cock.  He pulled the panties out of my mouth and shoved his cock in.  While he face fucked me, he also lectured.  Explaining what he would expect of me that evening.  i was to crawl upstairs on my knees.  Once in my bedroom he would give me permission to get razors, scissors shaving cream, etc.  He was going to shave the offending hair from my pussy and my ass.  Then he would spank me.  i realized then, that his cock was being used as a gag on me.  He pulled himself out, picked up the bag he brought with him, and led the way up the stairs.

i grabbed my destroyed panties as i began the trip up the stairs on my knees.  He leaned back and took them out of my hands.  “These are mine now.” he stated simply and then stuffed them into a pocket in his bag like a trophy.

When we reached my bedroom, i was still on my knees.  i waited for him to ready the room, my bed, etc.  From his bag he pulled a spreader bar, a pair of ankle cuffs and a pair of wrist cuffs and a ping pong paddle,  and laid them on the bed as he named each item.  Turning back to me, he told me what he wanted.  “Now you will get three towels, a wash cloth, soap, shaving cream, scissors, razors and i will go down to the kitchen for a bowel for the water.” 

i quickly gathered everything and laid them on my turned down bed.  i returned to my knees, even though he had not ordered it.  It felt the right place under the circumstances.  He smiled when he saw me “Good girl!”  He was clearly pleased, that i had taken the initiative and knew instinctively where my place was. 

He rewarded me, by pulling me up into his arms and kissing me.  Then he slowly removed my clothes and laid them neatly over my dresser.  Picking up the leather wrist cuffs, he buckled them around my wrists.  Then doing the same with my ankles he fastened the cuffs around my ankles.  The cuffs had a large D ring on each of them.  Pulling my arms behind me, he fastened them securely with a clip.  Then changed his mind, and fastened the clip with my wrists in front of my body. 

Positioning me on the side of the bed, he laid me on my back and then pulling my legs up like a baby, put a towel under my ass.  i realized that the humiliation of being treated like a baby, was exactly the reaction he was seeking, by doing this in this manner.  On top of the towel he spread a plastic trash bag, and then another towel on top of the plastic.  Spreading my legs, he fastened my ankle cuffs to the spreader bar he brought with him.

Without saying another word, he began the process of denuding my pussy.  Taking the scissors he cut the longer hair off until all that remained was a stubble.  Then moistening my pussy he lathered it well with the shaving cream.  The shave itself he did slowly and methodically, explaining that from that day forward i would need to shave my pussy daily to keep it soft and exposed.  When he was finished, he removed the spreader bar and unfastened my wrists.  He took my hand, and ran it through my soft pussy.  The sensations i felt at that moment were beyond any i had ever felt in my pussy.  i began juicing. 

Turning me over, he had me on all fours with my knees spread.  Explaining that when i was on my knees, my legs should always be spread, keeping myself properly exposed.  Taking the razor and shaving cream, he proceeded to shave any errant hair from my ass and inside the cheeks.   

The entire process felt so delightful!  Then i felt his lubricated finger slowly pushing into my ass hole.  It felt good, so i didn’t object.  He pushed one, two fingers in and out and finger fucked my ass.  Stopping for a moment, i moaned, wanting his fingers back inside me.  He had other plans though.  i felt a lubricated plastic at the entrance to my ass. 

“Your Mentor told me your ass is a virgin.  We decided that tonight we take that virginity from you!”  He said that like an order and then firmly shoved the butt plug into my ass.  i screamed. “That HURTS, please take it OUT!” i pleaded.   He rubbed my back.  And softly explained “No little one.  The pain will subside in a moment.  It is my desire that  you ride this out.”  i could feel the tears flowing from my eyes as he tenderly rubbed my ass and legs.  He was right though.  The pain did subside in a few minutes.  That is when he pulled me over his lap.

i felt at that moment like a little girl who had been horribly naughty and her father had pulled her pants down to spank her.  Except, i was completely naked with the exception of that huge feeling plug stuffed into my ass.

Taking the ping pong paddle, he spanked me hard.  Stopping occasionally to enjoy his work and comment on the beautiful shade of red my ass was turning.  i realized quickly, that yes the spanking hurt, but the hurt was a delightful hurt, that was getting me hotter than i ever remembered being before.  i was certain his lap was wet from the dripping of my pussy, and me squirming around on his lap to reach my ass into the smacks.   In between strikes he would spread my legs to feel the juices escaping from my pussy, or twist the plug in my ass.  As each twist became easier, i realized that my ass was relaxing further to the invasion of the plug.  i was confident that, now i was “officially” de-virginized.   How naive i was at that moment!

Pulling me off his lap, he stood me up to admire his work.  i thought that he was going to lay me back in the bed, spread my legs and fuck my shaved pussy, and that would be the end of my  initiation.  He pushed me back on the bed on my knees.  “You will put your head and chest on the bed.  Your ass will remain raised.” 

Then he disappeared for a minute taking his bag with him into the bathroom.  The door closed, and i heard nothing through the door.

He returned and i could see through my arms that he was naked now.  He knelt on the bed behind me and spread my cheeks with his fingers and quickly pulled the plug from my ass.  i heard it hit the floor. 

He slapped my ass with a ping pong paddle he had brought back into the bed with us. Then i felt it.  So quickly that it took my breath away!  He had replaced the plug with his cock and forcibly slammed it home.  i lost my balance and was on my stomach on the bed.  i couldn’t move.  i could only feel his cock as it penetrated deeply into my ass.  It hurt terribly, and i was grateful that he had stretched me with the plug.  He fucked me without mercy.  Hard, slamming it home with each stroke. 

He came.  i was grateful that he respected my limit of not being fucked without protection.  When he had recovered sufficiently, he reached for the neck of the condom to insure it pulled out of me with his cock, and lay on his back, panting. 

“You may remove the condom and discard it.”  he ordered between breaths.  “Bring a wet wash cloth and towel to clean me up.” he ordered. 

i carefully slid the condom off his shrinking cock, tied a knot in the end like a balloon, as he watched and chuckled at me.  Extending my arm its full length, i carried the condom to the bathroom as if it would bite.    i rolled it in a tissue and threw it in the trash.  i returned to the bedroom with a wash cloth that i had soaked in warm water, and tenderly washed his cock. 

i thought that now that he was satisfied, it was my turn.  i was about to learn a difficult lesson regarding submission and ownership.  Understand, this Dominant was not my owner.  my full respect went to my Mentor.  However, i understood that i was to obey him.  Per my Mentor, and him i unquestionably always obeyed.  i knew that he always had my best interest in mind. 

Although my lifestyle experience at this point was very limited, there was always a clear understanding of who i am, and the respect that is owed those who Dominate me.  It is not a respect that i give easily.  Generally it is earned by something that i am unable to put my finger on.  Vanilla’s find that respect is difficult to earn from me, because of how strong i can be.  Not Dominant, but not accepting of crap.  Dominants on the other hand, who have this certain inexplicable strength that is both quiet, and strong, i respond to chemically.  As if my body recognizes them and will not permit any other response from me.  Even at this early point, i acknowledged this in me and embraced it. 

So, the lesson i was to learn, was a hard one.  But one, i have since been grateful for. 

“I am going to leave you shortly, little one.  The butt plug is yours.  Keep it clean, and use it often.  i will expect you to learn how to insert it yourself.  i know you are horny.”  He said as he slid his hand into my pussy and showed me the juices on his hand, before pushing his hand into my mouth to suck off my juices. 

“Your Mentor and I have decided that you are not to cum tonight.  You are not to play with your clit.  You will only cum from now on, when you are given permission.  And don’t beg tonight, because the answer is no!” 

Getting out of the bed, he pulled me into the shower with him.  Handing me the soap i was ordered to lather his body.  i did.  Then i handed the soap back to him so he could rinse off under the shower massage.  He then soaped my body, taking special care to not spend extended time lathering my clit.  Then, taking the shower massage hose off the hook, he rinsed me. 

i wanted him to spend time, directing the spray at my clit, but apparently he was well aware of how a shower massage could be utilized, and turned the spray down to low to rinse my pussy off.  i was so frustrated i wanted to scream. 

He will be gone shortly, i kept thinking.  i can jump back in the shower and enjoy my shower massage the way it was meant to be used.

Then he twisted the shower massage and the hose off the shower nozzel and turned it upside down to drain it.  i just stood there looking at him as he got out of the shower and tucked it into his bag.  “I know you are tempted little one.  This will insure you will not be tonight.  i will bring it back and hook it up tomorrow when i return.”

I stepped out of the shower into a towel he had open for me.  He dressed quickly, then ordered me back to my knees to kiss his feet.  Picking up his bag, he packed all his toys, my plug he threw into the sink.  Getting me up, i was asked to accompany him to the door.  i walked to the closet for my robe and he grabbed a nipple and pinched it hard.  i screamed “RED”. 

That was a punishment pinch little one.  When you are punished you lose your right to safe out, unless you know you are going to be damaged.  You will go to the door with me naked.  submissives should be naked.”  “Yes, Sir.” i responded and walked him to the door carrying his bag.  At the door he gave me his final instructions. 

“Remember, you are not to touch your body or make yourself cum.  You may scratch an itch, but you are not to cum.  You no longer have the right to your orgasms.  While i am training you, they belong to Me, understood?”

“Yes, Sir.” i responded mechanically, wondering what my Mentor would have to say about this.

“Your Mentor and I have already discussed this, little one.”  i knew my mouth was hanging.  How could he read my thoughts??  He kissed me.  “He is waiting for your call, now.  Send him an instant message, and sign off.  He will phone you.  Tonight you will remain naked.”   He kissed me once more and then left into the star less cold night.

Still naked, i walked over to my computer, signed on, sent my Mentor a short Instant Message.  “He is gone” i typed.  i signed off, and went back upstairs to clean up. 

By the time i had finished putting away the shaving materials, making my bed and washing my butt plug, the phone was ringing.

“So, pet.  What did you learn tonight?”  he asked me softly.  i knew he expected a detailed answer.  i began by telling him he forgot to explain about kneeling.  “I didn’t forget Pet.” he laughed.  “My judgment was that it was for you to learn first hand.  Now, go on.” 

i told him everything, including the thoughts that i had about the cock being used as a gag, and the butt plug and being de-virginized by his friend.  How the shower massage was removed and i had been ordered not to cum.  “Good girl.  He said to me, between good laughs and explanations of why submissives do not own their pain, or their pleasure.  How it would intensify the entire experience for me.  Then, he ordered me to go get the plug and the lube his friend left me. 

i went to the bathroom, where it was still sitting on the sink and grabbed it and the lube.  i picked up the phone and he continued.  “Lube the plug, pet.  You are going to learn to insert it yourself.  You can either do this standing or laying on your left side with your knee up.”  i opted that time, to do it laying so i could continue talking to him while i did this. 

He walked me through it, explaining what i was feeling and assuring me that it would go in.  It took a while.  The butt plug is shaped like a Grecian urn, with a wide point just above a finger size neck.  i was getting hung up on the wide point and it hurt.  He patiently showed me that by twisting it and slowly inserting it, it would finally slip past the sphincter.  i moaned in his ear, but finally i was able to get it in. 

We talked more, and he was pleased.  Before we hung up, i asked for permission, no, i actually begged for the first time in my life, to remove the plug.  “No pet.  You are to sleep with it inside  you.  When your trainer calls in the morning to let you know when he will be there to put your shower massage back up, he will tell you when you have permission to remove it. 

Well, i thought.  You two did plan this well.  Down to both of you knowing exactly what the other was doing or going to do.

“Yes, Sir.” i acquiesced.  i knew at that point that i would not disobey.  All the vanilla was being slowly drained out of me, and it felt right.  i would be obedient and make them both proud of me.

2.

 Sleeping with a plug impaled in your ass is an exercise in futility.  You know its there and when your ass is so newly “taken”,  just having it stuffed keeps you up.  That night i didn’t fall asleep until after 5 am.  At 7 the phone rang.  my trainer. 

“Still plugged, little one?” 

i knew they were in this together.

“Yes, Sir.  May i please remove it?” 

“I will be there in 20 minutes.  It will remain until i arrive.  Your door will be unlocked, and you will be on your knees, face down waiting for me.”  He hung up the phone.  Didn’t bother to ask if it really needed to come out. 

i busied myself with morning activities.  i washed my face, and with a wash cloth washed my pussy that was still gushy.  i didn’t realize then, that the addition of the butt plug kept me in a state of arousal since it was positioned against my anal g-spot.  At that point, i was not aware that i indeed had a very active one.  i peed and brushed my teeth. 

i desperately wanted my morning shower.  However, that would not be possible until my shower massage was reinstalled.  So, i sprayed my cologne all over my body.  Then i went downstairs to unlock the door and position myself in the entryway.  Fortunately, my timing was better than his.  He arrived 15 minutes after he hung up. 

He stroked my head, walked around behind me and pulled my plug out.  It felt wonderful just being out of me.  But, i had to go to the bathroom.  “Go relieve yourself in the downstairs bathroom little one.”  i got up without saying a word, went into my powder room and closed the door.  When i was finished, i went upstairs to see how he was doing. 

my shower head was back up and he was sitting on the bed.  i went over to him, dropped to my knees before him.  “Thank you Sir.”  i said with genuine gratitude, smiling at him.   

“Go enjoy your shower.  i am going downstairs to cook breakfast.  Do you have any plans today?”  “No Sir.  i was told to keep my weekend free for you.” 

“Excellent.”  He got up and pulled me up.  Kissing me, he turned me around and swatted my ass to move me in the direction of my shower.  i went gladly and went in to the bathroom.  From the bathroom, i heard his voice.  “You will from now on, keep the bathroom door open.  You will only have the right to privacy when i grant it.”  i opened the door, and heard him run the rest of the way down the stairs.

The water felt wonderful.  i touched my newly shaved pussy and felt a few stubbly hairs.  Getting out of the shower, i put a new blade in my razor and stepped back into my shower to soap my pussy well so i could shave it. 

i washed my hair, finished my shower and turned the water off. Stepping out of the shower, i grabbed the towel for my hair and wrapped my ass length hair turban style with the towel.  i dried my body, applied deodorant, and cologne.  Then i dried my hair with the towel and turned my blow dryer on for a few minutes to get the excess water out of my hair.  The remainder of the water i left. 

i could smell breakfast cooking in my kitchen, and wondered when he picked up the groceries.  i didn’t see a bag when he came in.  i was starting to feel like a princess who was being cared for by a new lover.  He would quickly show me that submissives are not princesses, and the fact that he cooked was simply because he enjoyed doing that on occasion. 

The table was set with one place setting.  His cup of coffee was on the table.  i saw a pillow on the floor.  my dog was out on the balcony looking in, wondering why he had been locked outside. i realized that i would not be allowed to sit at the table. 

There were two plates prepared and ready.  “You may put my plate on the table.”  i put his plate on the table and returned to him in the kitchen.  He handed me my plate.  “The plate goes on the floor.”  i put the plate on the floor and returned to the kitchen for a fork. Reaching in the drawer, he slapped my hand.  “NO!” he said firmly.  Go sit on your pillow. 

i went into the dinning room and sat on the pillow.  He followed me with a cup of coffee.  Pulling my hair into a pony tail behind me, he quickly braided it down my back.  With one of my barrettes he pinned the braid on top of my head.  “There we go.” he said, satisfied with his work.  “You may eat now.  Using your hands only for your coffee.” 

He sat down, opened his paper and seemed to ignore me.  Yes, i felt very submissive.  In that one short moment i had been reduced from a person, to a subservient not worthy of a place at the table.  i was confused trying to hold on to my emotions.  It was important that i understood what was happening.  i reasoned that he was teaching me that as a submissive i had a place in a man’s life.  i was not his better.  i could be intelligent, happy, have a good sense of humor, but as part of a Dominants world, it was important to learn that i was his shadow.  i was beginning to understand the concept of ownership.  Until that moment, i could not understand the concept, other than a social status with the community.  That morning while i reasoned through what i was experiencing, i began to understand. 

i began to understand so much.  i understood that there was an absolute in this life.  If at any time i felt it was wrong or the person who i was serving was wrong for me, i could stop it at any time.   Without consent, this was meaningless.  An abuser could force me to behave in this manner, but i would not respect him or care for him.  His only thought would be to hurt me.  As part of a Dominant and submissive relationship, service was for both.  As part of the loving care we give another.  i was learning another important aspect.  That was trust. 

Both my Mentor and my Trainer, had been absolutely truthful with me.  i learned that honesty was another absolute.  Without the honesty, without the giving, there is no trust.  Because of the intensity of the basics of our life, trust is an essential component.

With the understanding, i became very soft.  Everything within me that was once forceful, softened.  A femininity that i never knew i possessed blossomed in me.  i choked on my coffee as the tears began to flow.  He put his paper down, picked my plate up and put it on the table.  Then he took my coffee from me and placed it on the table.  Getting up, he pulled me up, and wrapped his arms around me as i cried.  Walking me over to the couch he sat me down beside him and pulled me into his arms and let me cry it out.

“Yes little one.  Is it revealing itself to you so soon?”  The words came stumbling out of my mouth.  i explained what i had realized, and how it was affecting me.  “That is why your Mentor sent me to you.  He knew you were ready.  He wanted it to be encouraged and not destroyed with incompetence.  He knew you were here already.  He saw in you what is not in most.  It is part of  you, and has always been a part of you.  One day you will be a beautiful slave.  It is already your soul.  My job was done before I arrived.” 

i could see and feel the truth in his words.  i also knew i had a long way before reaching perfection.  i knew this was a life time of training, and there was so much to understand.  He was the beginning and would not be around long.  i would have to stumble and fall along the way, in order to learn more.

He spent the remainder of the weekend with me.  We talked, and i asked questions that after they would exit my mouth, i already knew the answer to.  We laughed and enjoyed each other’s company.  i wanted him to stay.  If he had not lived an hours flight away, i would have gladly surrendered to him.  But i was not for him.  Not then. 

i washed the dishes and drank a cup of coffee.  He had gone upstairs and was going through my closet.  By the time i was finished cleaning, and was finishing my coffee, he returned with a skirt, a bra , a sweater and a pair of shoes and socks.   Pulling my coat out of the closet he held it for me as i slipped it on.  He put his coat on, and handed me my purse. 

We drove in his rental car, and parked in the Larkspur Landing Ferry parking lot.  He had already purchased tickets and we arrived in time for the ferry over to San Francisco. 

i adored the ferry.  But worried, since he had picked out a “flip” skirt that would fly up in the wind.  He obviously knew this when he picked out the skirt.  We sat inside, warm, sipping coffee until we had finished our drink.  “Lets go for a walk, little one.” he said to me with a wicked grin on his face.  i held my skirt with one hand, and he held the other as he dragged me out to the deck and walked to the railing.  He held me in one arm as i held my skirt with the opposite hand.  The ferry lurched , my hand reached out for the rail.  As he i am certain anticipated, my skirt flew up exposing my naked ass and pussy.  As it righted i was able to re-secure my skirt.  my embarrassment was apparent to my trainer.  He smiled and raised his eyebrow.  There were 4 young men out on the deck with us, with the biggest smiles on their face.  my trainer winked at them and one flashed him a thumbs up sign.  i buried my face in my trainers side as he took me back inside. 

We spent the day in San Francisco, and caught the last ferry back into Marin.  We went out to dinner that night.  He ordered for me, and i was thrilled with his choice of French restaurant.  We had an intimate table off from the main area of tables.  He sat beside me and i was told that the proper way for a submissive to sit was with her legs apart and never crossed.  i sat properly.  Mid-way through our meal, his hand beneath the long white table cloth found my clit.  He massaged it as i looked at him, worried.  i knew that i was not allowed to cum without permission.  But in a restaurant?  This was tearing me apart.  He didn’t stop looking directly into my eyes.  The waiter returned to take our order.  He had not permitted me a menu and ordered without asking me.  He didn’t discontinue the small circles on my clit while he spoke to the waiter. 

Watching me carefully, he whispered in my ear.  When i give you permission little one, you will not scream, or moan.  You must maintain your composure no matter how difficult it becomes.  i felt him pinch my clit and then in my ear, he firmly allowed my release.  “CUM for me NOW!”  It was so firm and insistent.  my body was on overcharge and flew over the edge.  i choked wanting to scream.  He didn’t stop rubbing my clit.  i buried my head in his chest and held in everything.  How i wanted to scream at the top of my lungs.  When i came down, he pulled his wet hand out from under the table cloth and licked his fingers.  Then he kissed me.

Dipping his napkin in his water, he washed his hand off.  Then the napkin with the cold water found its way beneath the table cloth to clean me up so i wouldn’t drip.  It also stopped the after shocks.  Catching my breath, i thanked him and lowered my eyes.  Kissing my eyes, he said “Good girl.” 

The napkin went back into the water for a short rinse, was rolled up and laid on the table.  The waiter returned with our dinner and without a word, removed the napkin and replaced it with a fresh one.  i wondered if he could see the embarrassment in my face.  i could feel the blush warmth rising in my face, as i watched my trainer drink the contents of the water glass.

That night when we returned to my home, i was ordered to disrobe as soon as we closed the door.  i quickly slipped out of my clothes , dropped to my knees and lowered my head.  Walking over to the stairs, he pulled the cuffs and  ankle cuffs off the step he had placed them on before we left.  i raised my wrists to him to cuff.  He pulled them behind my back and locked them together.  He pulled my hair to pull me to my feet then fastened the ankle cuffs around me. 

Leaving my clothes on the landing, he dragged me up the stairs by my left nipple.  When we reached my bedroom i was lowered to my knees.  i leaned over and kissed his feet, and waited.  Releasing the lock in the cuffs he raised me up on my knees.  i spread my legs properly.  He nodded.  In his hand he held what looked like tweezers with a screw.  i didn’t like the look of this. 

Reaching for my still erect left nipple he took the contraption and clipped it to my nipple.  At first it didn’t hurt.  “This little one, is called a nipple clamp.  It will hurt.”  He explained.  He clamped the other onto my right nipple after pinching it to insure it was erect.  Returning to the left he turned the screw until i screamed.  Reaching for the right i flinched.  He grabbed my wrists and quickly secured them behind me again.  i had no choice but to allow him to turn the screw.  i screamed again, and began begging him to please remove them.  “Please Sir, i beg you!  That hurts too much.  i don’t want those.  Please!”  The tears began to flow from my eyes.  Finally, it was too much, i screamed my safe.  “RED!”.  He quickly released the clamps from my nipples and softly began to rub the blood back into them.  i was crying, “i can’t do this.  i am too much of a wimp!”  He was laughing softly, as he released my hands and pulled me up so i was standing before him with my back to him as he held me.  “Little one,” He whispered taking my hand.  “Your body knows what it loves.”  He took my hand, and ran it through my drenched pussy.  i could feel my juices dripping down my thighs.  “Read your pussy, not your head.  It knows you better than your head does.”  i could see the logic in this.  i could feel the logic in this.  i turned around in his arms and cried into his chest.  Then lowered myself slowly to my knees and kissed his feet.  my tears still flowing.  On the bed was his paddle and a riding crop.  He pulled me up and laid me on the bed on my stomach.  His paddle warmed my ass.  my tears dried up and were replaced with moans of enjoyment.  He had explained the fine line between pain and pleasure, i was on that line when he switched to the crop.  i didn’t want him to stop.  He finally did, and i lay there enjoying the feeling of warmth and complete arousal. 

Turning me over, his face sought my clit.  i was so aroused, that i was over the edge in a short time.  i begged him to allow me to cum.  “When I give you permission little one, i will pinch your left nipple.” He said before dipping back into my pussy and my hardening clit.  i was begging again, fervently.  i never thought anything was so important, or natural.  He pinched my nipple and i began cumming.  i wanted to push him off, the orgasm was so strong.   Instead, my legs held his head tight.  He sucked and licked until the orgasm began coming down from its peak. 

Quickly he put his condom on his hard cock and thrust into my pussy.  i was still cumming and my pussy was gripping his thick cock as it enjoyed the cock slamming in and out.  He came as my orgasm intensified again. 

When it was over, he pulled me into his arms and kissed me and petted me.  Talking softly to me, i realized that the experience i had just had, was the most intense and satisfying i had ever experienced.  The combination of the pain and pleasure sent my body places it had never gone.  Combined with the offered submission, i couldn’t believe where i had been taken.  The emotional intensity was just as strong.  my tears subsided, and i felt the incredible intimacy and closeness that i had never felt with another in life. 

i knew in that moment, that i would never return to a vanilla existence.  i would take this life where it would lead.  i knew that it would not all be like this.  But, all these years later, it has been incredible. 

i slept wrapped in his arms that night.  The next morning we made love and showered together.  He packed his things, and i never saw him again.  A few weeks later, my Mentor decided he had taken me as far as he could, and gave me a few instructions, and my wings to fly on my own.

i lost touch with him for several years.

Life has a way of teaching you if you listen.  i have found and lost love.  i fell deeply in love with one who would enslave this one.  i listened to my heart, and followed it.  He passed away before all our dreams could be fulfilled.  i thought my life was over with his loss, but there was too much he taught me about love and moving on.  With each experience, good and bad, i have taken the lessons that the experience wished to teach me.  It has added to who i am.  Who i will be.

Each submissive has their own pallet of experiences from which to base their life and their ability to submit.  The most important lesson i have learned, is that this is about loving.  You learn to truly love your partners, your friends, your community.  Giving is unselfish, loving.  That is the beginning, learning how to truly give and love.
 

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