Coming Clean

by D. J. Herda

Every now and again, I get an urge to clean house.  And, since my place is already squeaky clean, I thought I'd go to work on someone else's house.  A big house.  A really big house.  So tell the first lady and that guy who thinks Americans are lazy to step aside, because I'm coming in, and I'm bringing my broom.

The first thing I'm going to clean over there on Pennsylvania Avenue is the Oval Office.  You know what that is.  That's the place where guys who think Americans are lazy or dumb or just plain stupid hang their hats.  I'm going to start by opening up those desk drawers and sweeping out all those broken campaign promises and outright lies.  Out goes the pledge to post all new legislation on C-Span 72 hours before they're voted upon.  Out goes the pledge to reform our immigration laws.  Out goes the one to close Gitmo.  And the one to end the war in Afghanistan.  And the war in Iraq.  And the one to balance the budget--or even produce a budget in more than three years, for that matter.  And the one to maintain the most transparent administration in history (I guess transparency doesn't translate to the justice department or any of the president's closet advisers). 

Out goes his promise to end Bush-era tax cuts for the "wealthiest Americans."  Out goes his pledge to work harder than anyone ever worked in the White House before.  Out goes his promise to seal the country's border with Mexico to make life safer for all Americans.  And the one to force China to stop manipulating its economy at everyone else's expense.  And the one to conduct one-on-one negotiations with Iran.  Out, too, goes his promise to provide the Center for Disease Control with $50 million for increased cancer research.  And the one to work with Congress to modernize and overhaul our nation's air traffic control system.

And especially out goes the promise to restrict warrantless wiretaps.  And to provide the states with $1.5 billion for improved paid family and medical leave.  And the one to refuse to take campaign funds from lobbyists.  And to lower taxes on all but the wealthiest Americans.  And to develop an energy-efficient policy for America.  And to control government spending (does the word, Solyndra, mean anything to anybody?).  And to close White House doors to lobbyists and special interest groups.  And to simplify the tax code to spur new financial growth.  And to keep the nation's unemployment rate below 8 percent.

Also, I'm tossing out the "Great Uniter" moniker, since the White House has never been at greater odds with the American people.   Out, too, goes the promise not to play the race card.  And, while we're at it, let's toss that pledge to lower the national debt to an affordable level, since it's now topped out at $15 trillion and growing.

Most importantly of all, I'm tossing out his statement from more than a year ago that he has already kept every one of his campaign promises.  Over a year ago!  Of course, his failing to deliver on that pledge is not necessarily a bad thing.  I mean think of how much worse off we'd all be if he'd actually managed to accomplish everything he'd said he had.  Ouch! 

Anyway, think of how much cleaner the Oval Office looks without all those broken promises and fabricated accomplishments lying around.  The place looks pretty good.

Oh, and one more thing, just in case you were wondering.  I also do windows.

And I…am D. J. Herda.

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D. J. Herda is President of the American Society of Authors and Writers (http://amsaw.org), an organization made up of authors, writers, editors, publishers, agents, directors, producers, and other media professionals who rely upon the printed word in the creation of quality literature and entertainment.  He is a member of the Author's Guild, a former member of the American Society of Journalists and Authors, and a former member of the National Press Club.  He has published more than 80 books and several hundred thousand articles, short stories, columns, interviews, plays, and scripts.
 

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