|
|
|
My Mind
by D. J. Herda
Every year around this time, the editors give me an opportunity to write about things that have been playing heavily on my mind for the past year. You know, kind of like Free Range Psychotherapy.
And every year, I take them up on it. So, why, I ask, should this year be any different? Right?
Plastics Make Girlie-Girlie Men Researchers in the US have shown that certain chemicals in plastics can alter the brains of baby boys, making them "more feminine." Males exposed to high doses in the womb went on to be less likely to play with boys' toys, such as cars, or to join in rough and tumble games, such as Monopoly. The University of Rochester team's latest work adds to concerns about the safety of phthalates, found in vinyl flooring and PVC shower curtains.
What researchers in the US haven't shown is that certain chemicals in Ralph Lauren jeans make women "more masculine," argumentative, and quarrelsome. It's true. I once dated one. The pain is nearly gone.
Esquire Magazine ads featuring males promoting designer clothing are ugly as sin. Not only that, but if you've taken a good look lately (as over the last seventeen years), it seems as if they've been wrapping themselves in a lot of vinyl flooring and PVC shower curtains. If you get my drift.
The Great State of California needs to cede from the Union, annex Bulgaria, and adopt English as a second language. I mean, this is a no-brainer. No one in California resembles anyone in any other place in the United States. So they'd might as well all become part of the former Soviet bloc. Sorry, Arnold.
President Obama has pledged to break with "Washington as Usual." He just never said when.
Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi are actually one-in-the-same. It's just that Harry Reid is more feminine.
Michelle Obama actually likes to wear sleeveless dresses because they show off her, uhh, assets. I hate sexist remarks such as this, especially when they relate to a first lady with incredibly robust arms and zero fashion sense.
Michael Vick has been rehabilitated and deserves to play in the NFL. The dead dogs have been rehabilitated and deserve to play in Michael Vick.
Rumors of Sixty Minutes' Andy Rooney's demise have been greatly exaggerated. Get it in writing.
My mother always loved me best. What's so damned strange about that?
And I…am D. J. Herda.
# # #
D. J. Herda is President of the American Society of
Authors and Writers (http://amsaw.org),
an organization made up of authors, writers, editors, publishers, agents,
directors, producers, and other media professionals who rely upon the printed
word in the creation of quality literature and entertainment. He is
a member of the Author's Guild, a former member of the American Society of
Journalists and Authors, and a former member of the National Press Club.
He has published more than 80 books and several hundred thousand articles,
short stories, columns, interviews, plays, and scripts. |
|
|