My New Year's

Revolutions

by D. J. Herda

Yeah, yeah, I know.  The word is resolutions, not revolutions.

Except that, each year I make a bunch of resolutions, and each year I end up breaking them.  So this year, I figured what the heck.  Why not make some New Year’s revolutions?  You know, some things to revolt against. 

Time was we had Vietnam and Tricky Dick and Spiro Agnew to cast to the winds.  Those good old days are gone now, and not even the War in Afghanistan or the action in Iraq can take their place.

So, I’ve scoured the political scene for the past several months, and I managed to find a few other sacred cows I would personally like to lead to the slaughterhouse.  For example:

Barack Obama

The December 8, 2010 edition of Fox News' Happening Now excerpted footage of President Obama saying "Look at what I promised during the campaign.  There is not a single thing that I said that I would do that I have not either done or tried to do."  And then he went on to add the caveat, "And if I haven't gotten it done yet, I'm still trying to do it."

In fact, he has failed miserably in keeping not the 500 campaign promises that Fox erroneously reported but rather a solid two dozen of them, with an additional 85 promises permanently stalled in political limbo and a staggering 232 more unlikely to be kept.  These failed promises range from increasing taxes on the “wealthy” and eliminating all oil and gas tax loopholes to including environmental and labor standards in trade agreements and creating a $60 billion bank for funding roads and bridges.

It’s not that Obama deliberately set about lying to his electorate.  It’s that he had no alternative.  Psychopaths believe everything they say, every word that falls from their lips, and Obama is a classic example.  That's not necessarily a bad thing, of course.  After all, when in Rome.

But things have gotten so bad over at the White House that the Department of Defense is considering changing the name of the president’s jet from Air Force One.

I think Psychopath One has a nice ring to it.

So this year, on New Year’s Eve, I hereby pledge the following: Every time Barack Obama opens his mouth to speak, I’m going to close my ears to listening. 

In that way, he won’t have to lie to me anymore about never having broken a single promise he made during his campaign--and everything else, for that matter.

Nancy Pelosi

In remarks made about the health-care bill at the 2010 Legislative Conference for the National Association of Counties, then-Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi said, “But we have to pass the bill so that you can find out what is in it, away from the fog of controversy.” 

Now, I don’t know about you, but the only fog I’ve seen emanating from California doesn’t come from the ocean, and it doesn’t come from the rush-hour traffic bogging down L.A.  It comes directly from Pelosi’s mouth.  Her arrogance and ignorance constantly astound me, and the lies she passes off as gospel are enough to make even our Liar-in-Chief blush. 

Pelosi’s ignorance, of course, is not limited to her, nor is it her only strong suit.  For all the time she has spent in the House, she has shown a callous disregard for the will of the people and a vicious, vindictive, punishing penchant for the creation of a socialistic Nation State complete with fully government-funded (1) employment for everyone who wants to work; (2) compensation for everyone else; (3) a college education for all; (4) citizenship for anyone who wants it; (5) health-care coverage for everyone who needs it; and (6) compensation for housewives and stay-at-home parents. 

Yet, this super philanthropist wastes more than a quarter million dollars in taxpayer money every single time she flies off somewhere aboard her private U.S. Air Force jet. And that includes trips to and from D.C. and San Francisco.

So this New Year’s Eve, I hereby pledge the following: Every time Nancy-Can’t-Keep-Her-Tongue-in-Her-Pantsy Pelosi utters a lie or wastes another dollar of my hard-earned money, I’m sticking a pin in a voodoo doll I received recently from Christine O’Donnell.

I’m just not saying where.

Harry Reid

The man who once referred to the president as “light skinned” and speaking with “no Negro accent” is the same man who believes in ramming unpopular legislation through the senate without debate, without compromise, without accommodation, and without regard to our stifling national debt, to which he has added trillions in the past year alone.  He is a shameless promoter of special-interest pork, and his comments and actions on the senate floor make him one of the most arrogant, wasteful, repugnant, and racist politicians in history. 

So this New Year’s Eve, I hereby pledge the following: Whenever Dirty Harry maligns a racial group through his own bigotry, I’m going to report him to Reverend Jeremiah Wright.  Whenever he arrogantly adds to the national debt by pandering to special interest groups designed to get him reelected to office, I’m going to tell mom.

Not his mom.  Mine! 

That should set him straight.  For good.

And I…am D. J. Herda.

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D. J. Herda is President of the American Society of Authors and Writers (http://amsaw.org), an organization made up of authors, writers, editors, publishers, agents, directors, producers, and other media professionals who rely upon the printed word in the creation of quality literature and entertainment.  He is a member of the Author's Guild, a former member of the American Society of Journalists and Authors, and a former member of the National Press Club.  He has published more than 80 books and several hundred thousand articles, short stories, columns, interviews, plays, and scripts.
 

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