The Swetky Agency - Lila's Bathroom

Lila's Bathroom

by Gerald Schoenewolf

Book Opening:

As soon as I walked through the door I saw her.

She was the proud beauty in the corner.

Al was there and Betty. "There's no theater in New York," Al was saying. "If you want to see theater you've got to go to London. Right, Virgil?"

"I've never been to London," I said, trying to catch the beauty's eyes. I did a triple loop through the clump of dancers in the living room and headed for the bar, where Max, the party's host, was standing.

"Max, Max, Max," I said, elbowing him. "Who is she, Max? Over there. No, over there. Max? Don't point, she'll see us. Yes! Her. Is she an actress? A model? A spy? Who is she?" I was a bit excited.

Her appearance was a study of contradictions. She had big brown eyes that sparkled as they turned, but the sparkle had a bitter tint to it. Her thick dark hair lay sensuously around her face and loosely down her shoulders, but she wore a prim-looking blue velvet dress with a white collar that clung firmly to her neck. Her smile seemed to say, "Hello," but her body was whispering "let me be;" not only were her thighs crossed inside the skirt, but her ankles were also crossed. I thought she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.

"Come," Max said, taking me right to her. He was a balding dentist who liked to laugh and make other people comfortable. "Virgil, I want you to meet my cousin Lila. Lila's from Ludskia. Virgil's a poet. Or a composer. Or a painter. What are you this week, Virgil? Anyway, he's our local genius."

I tried to keep my mouth from smiling too idiotically. Lila extended a delicate hand and I heartily shook it. "So you're from Ludskia?" I said. "I've never met a Ludskian."