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The Things I've Learned
From Washington's Brightest
by D. J. Herda
I like to learn things, all kinds of things from
all kinds of people. But if you stop to consider which people out
of everyone in the world offer the most to learn, you can't help but
come to one conclusion:
Politicos.
Now, I'm not denigrating the teaching abilities of
others. But you have to admit, every time you turn on the television
set or radio or open a newspaper or scour the Web, there's a politician
somewhere informing us about something.
With that in mind, I've decided to share with
you some of the quotes that I personally find most enlightening. Such as…
"I've
now been in 57 states — I think. One left to go." - Barack Obama
"We have to pass this [healthcare] bill to find out what's in it."
- Nancy Pelosi
Barack
Obama is a "light skinned" African-American "with no Negro dialect, unless
he wanted to have one." - Harry Reid
"Well,
look, there are people in Hollywood, not all of them, but there are some
people who are nothing more than harlots. They will do anything for the
buck. They wouldn't care. If you asked them to sodomize their own mother
in a movie, they would do so, and they would do it with a smile on their
face." - William A. Donohue, president of the Catholic League for Religious
and Civil Rights
"You
know, some days I get so frustrated I just want to go up to the closest
white person and say, 'You can't understand this, it's a black thing,' and
then slap him, just for my mental health." - Charles Barron, N.Y. City Councilman
"For
the first time in my adult lifetime I am really proud of my country. And
not just because Barack has done well, but because I think people are hungry
for change." —Michelle Obama
"Stand
up, Chuck, let 'em see ya." - Joe Biden, to Missouri state Sen. Chuck Graham,
who is in a wheelchair
"Can
I explain to you what happened? First of all it happened during a period
after she was in remission from cancer." —former Sen. John Edwards on cheating
on his wife
"It's
not surprising, then, they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or
antipathy to people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or
anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations." - Barack Obama
"I
remember landing under sniper fire. There was supposed to be some kind of
a greeting ceremony at the airport, but instead we just ran with our heads
down to get into the vehicles to get to our base." - Presidential
candidate Hillary Clinton on
visiting Bosnia in 1996, contradicting other accounts of no threat of gunfire
"As
Putin
rears his head
and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where– where
do they go? It's Alaska. It's just right over the border." - Sarah Palin,
explaining to Katie Couric why Alaska's proximity to Russia gives her foreign policy experience
"I'm
just not giving it up for f***in' nothing. I'm not gonna do it. And, and
I can always use it. I can parachute me there." ... "Give this mother f****r
Obama his senator? F**k him. For nothing? F**k him.'"
- Illinois Gov. Rod
Blagojevich, recorded in a federal wiretap trying to sell Barack Obama's
Senate seat.
As if those aren't illuminating enough, I kicked around
the old neighborhood the other day and came up with some more enlightenment,
these all at the hands (or mouth) of a single silver-tongued orator.
"I
think when you spread the wealth around, it's good for everybody."
"The
Middle East is obviously an issue that has plagued the region for centuries."
"UPS
and FedEx are doing just fine, right? It's the Post Office that's
always having problems." - (Undercutting the politician's own argument for
nationalizing healthcare)
"The
reforms we seek would bring greater competition, choice, savings and inefficiencies
to our health care system."
"No,
no. I have been practicing...I bowled a 129. It's like -- it was like Special
Olympics or something."
"Let
me introduce to you the next President -- the next Vice President of the
United States of America, Joe Biden."
"How's
it going, Sunshine?" - (At a political rally in Sunrise, Florida)
"On
this Memorial Day, as our nation honors its unbroken line of fallen heroes
-- and I see many of them in the audience here today -- our sense of patriotism
is particularly strong."
"In
case you missed it, this week, there was a tragedy in Kansas. Ten thousand
people died -- an entire town destroyed." - following a Kansas tornado that
killed 12 people
And the winning orator is…
You guessed it. B. O. The Big Bopper.
The Big Kahuna, himself. None other than
President Barack Obama.
And I…am D. J. Herda.
# #
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D. J. Herda is President of the American Society of
Authors and Writers (http://amsaw.org),
an organization made up of authors, writers, editors, publishers, agents,
directors, producers, and other media professionals who rely upon the printed
word in the creation of quality literature and entertainment. He is
a member of the Author's Guild, a former member of the American Society of
Journalists and Authors, and a former member of the National Press Club.
He has published more than 80 books and several hundred thousand articles,
short stories, columns, interviews, plays, and scripts.
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